"Damdamin"

If I'm going to write about my first Original Pilipino Music (OPM) blog entry, then let it be about a song performed by the great Rico J. Puno, the "Total Entertainer" himself.

Rico J. Puno's songs dominated the airwaves during the 1970s and this particular song was no exception. This song, "Damdamin" ("Feelings"), penned by Joseph Abando and Baby A. Gil, was a single from the "Tatak Rico J" album and became a hit for Rico Puno in 1978.

The song was typical of many of Rico's songs for its words struck a chord with many of the song's listeners. This particular song spoke of unrequited love, a love that never came to be because both parties denied what they truly felt for each other. I'm writing about it because I count it as one of my personal favorites.

This is how the song went and below it, I'm also including its lyrics for your reference:

Kahit ako'y 'di mo ngayon pinapansin,
Nakatanaw man sa iba ang paningin;
Kailan ma'y huwag akalain na aking daramdamin
Ang pag-ibig ko ay nililihim ko rin.

Kahit tuwina'y aking napapangarap ka,
At alam kong gayon ka rin sa 'kin sinta;
Kailan ma'y 'di sasabihin na minamahal din kita
'Pagkat lihim din ang damdamin ko.

At kung tayo'y 'di na muli pang magkita,
Kapwa tayo malulungkot na dalawa;
At duo'y sisihin damdaming sinungaling
Na 'di nagsabing mahal din kita.

At duo'y sisihin damdaming sinungaling
Na 'di nagsabing mahal din kita.

On a personal level, although I liked the song when it first came out, I was way too young to appreciate its message. The words didn't really leave an impression until years later when I myself had to deal with the pain of a lost love. However, unlike the song, it wasn't an unrequited love for this girl M and I were an item for a little over a year.

We both knew from the very beginning that it was a love that was bound to end sooner or later because by going out with me, she had defied her family's wishes. M came from a traditional Chinese family and in many of those families, falling for a non-Chinese person was not looked upon with approval. As for me, although my family wasn't as conservative as hers, my mom was also a product of her time and had some anti-Chinese attitudes as well. I had no such problem with my father. None of our parents knew about us. But even then, when the end eventually came, it still hurt.

M's married now and to a gentleman her parents obviously approved of. When I flew home to Manila last year to attend to some family matters, my college classmates hosted a mini-reunion in my honor. I saw her at the event and was surprised to learn that she was the one who organized it. I also found out later from my parents that she had tried to reach me at home while I was out. Of course, my parents were clueless about who she really was.

Although the feelings for her have long gone, the memories remain. And whenever I hear this song played, memories undiminished by the years bring her back. I have moved on with my life and I'm pretty happy where I am at. All I can do is to wish her well with hers and hope that she's happy too. Farewell, M.