Pictures and Thoughts from a Break

During my last stay in Manila, a break I desperately needed, I took some photos of the area around the hotel I stayed in. Ever since childhood, I've always looked out the window whenever I needed to do some serious thinking. Somehow, the sight of all the life that goes on around me helps stimulate my mind. Although I'm going to present the photos I took, I'm not really going to talk much about the places shown on them. Instead, I'll write some of the thoughts and memories that came to mind as I cast my eyes on them.


The photo above shows the northern portion of Makati Avenue. This was the view from my hotel window. On the left is the Millenium Plaza Hotel. It looks spanking new but when the SO and I did some research about it on the internet, the hotel got some pretty bad reviews for customer service, safety, and in-house dining.

On the right side of the street, one will see a small white building with a maroonish-colored roofing and where the top three floors are all glass. That building houses the Great Eastern Hotel and the only reason I mention it here is that its first two floors also house the Aberdeen Court restaurant. This restaurant was a popular place for wedding receptions back in the 1970s. An aunt and a couple of cousins had their wedding receptions there at the time.

Back to the left side of Makati Avenue above, you probably won't see it but there's also a branch of the Barrio Fiesta restaurant where the SO and I had lunch one day. The kare-kare was still very good, exactly how I remembered it to be. We also enjoyed tall glasses of sago't gulaman.


Above photo shows the southern part of Makati Avenue. The SO used to work in one of the buildings shown, one where she got her start in the industry she's currently in. Yours truly used to work on Dela Rosa Street, right off of Makati Avenue. The building I used to work in is no longer around for it was demolished several years ago to make way for a high-rise condominium.

I absolutely love the area I stayed in. There was an abundance of 24-hour restaurants and fastfood places to pick from for a jet-lagged guy like me. So many changes have taken place in this town ever since I left years ago. No doubt that there will be more changes in the coming years for such is the way of Life.


I took the photo above to document, in my own small way, the passing of an old Makati landmark, the GilArmi Apartments. GilArmi was said to be one of the first serviced apartments and/or condotels (condominium-hotels) in Makati and in Asia. It was built in 1962 and was owned by the late Filipino millionaire businessman Virgilio Hilario and his wife, Armi Kuusela, who gained worldwide fame back in 1952 when as Miss Finland, she was crowned as the first Miss Universe.

Please accept my apologies but due to rather severe technical limitations, my camera wasn't able to zoom in enough to provide you with a much closer view of the building. It is the smallest building you will see in the middle of the picture, specifically the one immediately to the right of Rustan's, the one with a construction crane on it. You won't miss it while driving on Ayala Avenue because its demolition is in full swing. I believe that a high-rise hotel and condominium will soon rise on its site.


The photo above shows the stretch of Kalayaan ("Freedom") Avenue that lies west of Makati Avenue. Immediately to the left of Kalayaan Avenue, one will see the roofs of houses in an area that's part of the Bel-Air Subdivision. The vacant lots one sees to the right of the avenue mark the spots where the old International School of Manila used to stand. Kalayaan Avenue in Makati City ultimately leads one to the old Pasig Line in the neighboring Santa Ana district of Manila.

"Pasig Line" referred to a tram (tranvia) line that used to run on the entire stretch of what is now Kalayaan Avenue during the early part of the 20th century. The "Pasig Line" tranvia route began its operations in 1908 and commenced from Paco Station in Manila and ran all the way to Pasig. The destruction wrought by World War 2 permanently ended the line's operations. But as recently as the early 1990s, sections of that old tranvia line were still present on that stretch of Kalayaan Avenue that lies east of Makati Avenue and leading to what is now the Rockwell Center.

Going back to the picture above, a lot of the land around Kalayaan Avenue, specifically the sites of Bel-Air and the old International School of Manila (which opened its Makati campus in 1960) were developed in the latter part of the 1950s. Our family has had a presence in Makati since the 1930s back in the day when Makati was still part of Rizal Province. I was told by my uncles that prior to their development, a lot of the land surrounding Kalayaan Avenue consisted of wet fields of kangkong (water spinach) and rice fields.

It was a story related to me tinged with quite a bit of regret because some time during the late 1940s, way before the above land was to be developed into what is to become the Makati we all know today, some parties had approached my grandmother offering to sell some of the land for 10 centavos per square meter. My grandmother turned them down by remarking, "Ano ang gagawin ko sa kangkungan?" ("What am I going to do with a kangkong field?") Looking at the photo above, apparently a lot.

It was a lesson learned. For us, my grandmother's words have come to symbolize an opportunity lost and the need for foresight in planning out our lives. Thus, growing up, my father taught me to not only look at things the way they are, but to also consider the possibilities and opportunities that could arise out of them.


Above is one of the sights that greet me whenever I looked out my hotel window. Upon seeing it, I immediately thought to myself that here's another man's dream rudely interrupted. Except that I didn't realize until later how grand the dream was.

The property is now surrounded by GI sheets used as temporary fencing and on one of those sheets, hangs a sign that said "Eaton". Once I got back to the States, I did some research and found out that this was planned to be a 64-storey building and envisioned to be the tallest structure in Makati. 28 floors would have been allocated for a Holiday Inn Hotel and the rest would have been for office spaces, amenties, serviced apartments and residential suites.

I feel a certain sadness when I see projects such as this come to a standstill. Not only do I feel bad for the people who dreamt about it and planned for it but I also feel bad for the people who are desperately in need of jobs who could have found gainful employment in such a place. I hope for everyone's sake that the dream that fired this project up has not flamed out permanently.


Above is a shot of the northeastern view from my hotel. In the foreground it shows Makati City with the high-rise condos of Rockwell Center surrounded by homes. On the other side of the Pasig River is Mandaluyong City with its now impressive skyline. Took this photo mainly because my sister works in one of the buildings shown. The hills in the distance are the foothills of the Sierra Madre mountains. It is in one of those foothills where the school I spent my elementary and high school years is located.


This photo of the Touch of Hands Clinic & Spa was also another sight that greeted me whenever I looked out the window. Given its proximity to Makati and Kalayaan Avenues and to lively Burgos Street, this place must be doing very good business. A Korean restaurant on its ground floor called Gela caters to the Korean community in the area. Although smaller when compared to other Korean restaurants in its immediate vicinity, it also attracts a fair amount of customers judging from the number of cars I always saw parked in front of it whether day or night.

Tucked in one corner of this property is a Money Changer. There seems to be a lot more of them all over the metropolis these days. It's a good sign really because of the convenience such businesses provide. It allows one to exchange one's dollars to pesos in a legal, arms length transaction and a lot of them stay open 24 hours a day. This money changer was my favorite because I noticed that its rates were often better than the others in the area. Plus, it always advertised its conversion rate for the day through a sign it hangs prominently on its front window.


Finally, a shot of someone who left his bakeshop for a few days for some much needed R&R.

Someday

I was still in college when the following song from the Canadian band Glass Tiger hit the airwaves:

It was 1986 when this song came out. Funny but it always reminds me of a particular college classmate. I first heard this song from him. He was softly singing it in the classroom one afternoon while we sat waiting for our professor to come in. I asked him what song it was and he said that it was called "Someday" by a group called the Glass Tiger.

He was an amusing and very interesting character to say the least. He was a year older than I am but I always had interesting conversations with him. He was the type of person one can have endless conversations with about any topic under the sun. Like a number of people I know, he was outwardly geeky and a bit obese. In class, he would often just look around, silently observing the goings on around him. Thus, the average person might ignore him or assume that he's just like any other nerdy guy. But he certainly wasn't.

Highly intelligent and possessing a bit of a wild streak, he was also an amateur palm reader. He had a wacky and irreverent sense of humor. He came up with a list one day of sexual positions that obese couples can engage in. Some of them, he himself came up with. When he was in the mood, he could let loose with four-letter words and indulge in dirty jokes just for the heck of it. No subject was taboo.

My day's coming to an end. I'm feeling quite drained, both physically and emotionally. Unfortunately for me, this day was not unlike many that came before it. I hope this song will make me feel better because of memories of a happy friendship that it brings to me everytime I listen to it. I haven't had much contact with him ever since we graduated from college. But knowing him and his family, I'm sure he's doing quite well.

When I come home you telephone
To say you're waiting for me
I ask you why - I hear you cry,
But you're still waiting for me

Someday you'll be shedding your tears
To cry over me
Someday I'll be losing this fear

Now I'm alone, you telephone
To tell me you don't need me
I ask you why, you tell me lies
And say the truth would hurt me

Someday you'll be shedding your tears
To cry over me
Someday I'll be losing this fear

Oh, Oh . . . someday

Down in the street where lovers meet
That's where I'm waiting for you
In the streets where lovers meet
I'm still waiting for you

Someday you'll be shedding your tears
And then you'll cry over me [cry over me]
Someday I'll be losing this fear

Someday you'll be shedding your tears
And then you'll cry over me [cry over me]
Someday I'll be losing this fear

That Familiar Lonely Feeling

This is something I've always felt whenever I leave Manila. Call it strange or weird but whenever I fly out of Manila, the worst stopover for me emotionally speaking is always the first one.

A lot of my countrymen board the plane with me in Manila. As one checks in for one's flight or while one waits in the transit lounge, one hears all the friendly chatter and jokes. I would even strike up a conversation or two with some fellow travelers to while away the wait time. These talks tend to continue onto and throughout the flight.

But once we get to our stopover, (be it Hongkong, Tokyo, or Beijing or wherever else it may be) where we all start going our separate ways to different connecting flights that would take us to our respective destinations around the globe, that's when a feeling of sadness and loneliness comes over me.

Most of them stay together bound for destinations either in the Middle East or in some other Asian country. Very few, if at all, remain to continue their flights towards the United States. Thus, as the sound and presence of my kababayans (countrymen) both fade, I find myself feeling increasingly alone.

It is at such stopovers where I get to see right in front of me how we, as a people, physically part with each other to fulfill our own dreams in our own little corners of the world. It is sad and yet it is a reality that a lot of us deal with. I know a lot of us wish that things were a lot different but since fate dealt us all a different hand, we have no other choice but to make the best of what's available to us.

Having lived away from the country for many years, I thought that such lonely feeling would go away because America is now a place I call home. Or if the feeling hadn't gone away, I had at least expected that its intensity would have been reduced by the passage of time. But my last few trips showed me that I still feel the same way after all these years. The feeling is still there, still intense after all these years. I no longer think that it'll ever change. America is what I call my legal home now because of what I need to do with my life. But that familiar lonely feeling I get at that first stopover is proof positive that a part of me still longs for my old home.

Lost Them..... For Now

I don't know how many people find themselves in a similar predicament but what has long been a source of personal frustration for me is the fact that I do not know enough of my family's history and heritage. And by this, I'm not just referring to one side of the family. I'm referring to BOTH my father and mother's respective sides of the family. I find it quite pathetic not because I didn't care enough to find out but it is mainly due to the very limited information available from close relatives.

Let me start with my mother's side of the family. My mother does not know where both my grandfather's parents are buried. My maternal grandfather, an only child, was born in 1897 and died in 1983. Both his parents had passed away by the time he was in his early 20s in 1920.

Being the seventh of eight children and having been born in the latter part of the 1930s, I can understand and even forgive my mother for this lapse. However, the situation becomes quite absurd when one learns that none of her older siblings also know where their grandparents are exactly buried. All I was told years ago was that the poor, almost forgotten couple were buried in a cemetery somewhere in Malolos, Bulacan.

However, when I asked my mom the very same question just this past week, she said that there isn't even a degree of certainty that my maternal greatgrandparents' remains even lie in a Malolos cemetery. All she now knows is that they were buried somewhere in Bulacan. Oh great. Just effing great. Now, all of Bulacan's cemeteries just became search candidates. If I had to start my search at this very moment, I would have to first come up with a master list of all Bulacan cemeteries that have been around for at least a hundred years and are still used today. God knows how many such cemeteries are out there. And worse, there's also the possibility that the cemetery those poor folks were buried in nine decades ago may no longer be a cemetery today. For all I know, on the cemetery's old site could now stand any of the following: a children's playground, a subdivision, a tiangge (flea market) or worse, perhaps a row of uber-trendy restaurants. I certainly hope that that's not the case.

At least I know my greatgrandfather's full name if in case I have to search through some birth and death records. Researching about my greatgrandmother would be more of a challenge. Although I know her first name, neither my mom nor any of her siblings know what her maiden name was. I guess I could attempt to find a marriage license somewhere that has both my greatgrandfather's full name and my greatgrandmother's first name on it.

On my father's side of the family, things are only slightly better. In contrast to my mother's side, both my greatgrandparents' names, their birth and death dates are well documented since they're both buried in the family plot at Manila's North Cemetery. However, even though I was told that my greatgrandfather was part of a rather large brood, I do not have any information as to the names of any of his siblings. Neither does my father nor any his surviving siblings.

I also know next to nothing about my dear greatgrandmother. I do not have any information as to who her parents and her siblings (if any) were, and where exactly in Manila she grew up. At least I know her maiden name and that would be a start. She was quite entrepreneurial according to my father. She was the brains behind a successful family business that operated in both Manila and Makati City back in the 1930s. She passed away from old age when I was four years old.

As for my greatgrandfather's heritage, I have mixed information. Looking at old family photographs from the early 1930s, my greatgrandfather had very strong Chinese features. From the photographs I saw, he possessed a rather fair complexion and Chinese eyes. I was also told that my greatgrandfather's father had worked as a cook somewhere in Binondo during the 19th Century. My father and relatives say that we are of mixed Chinese and Filipino heritage. That's probably right because it's quite common in the Philippines.

But again, nobody knows where my great greatgrandfather lies buried. I don't even know the name of his wife, my great greatgrandmother. No one in the family knows what her name was. I have no real information on any of my greatgrandfather's siblings either. My father has second cousins but I didn't find out who and how many they were until I visited Manila last year. What makes matters worse was that in all the many years I lived and grew in my hometown, I never knew (and my father never bothered to tell his children) that those folks had been living in a neighboring district all that time!

As for the origins of our family name, the answer I got was that the name was/is quite common in Batangas. In particular, our ancestors were supposed to have migrated to Manila from Batangas, Batangas. How nice and yet how generic. But here again, growing up, none of my cousins and I were ever introduced to any Batangueno relative. None of us were even taken to Batangas on a single sentimental trip to see an ancestral home. The only memories I have of Batangas were of family excursions to beach resorts in the summer. But no memories at all of any single trip that was taken for the sole purpose of meeting up with a Batangas-based relative.

Seriously, I have my doubts about our family's Batangueno roots. And the reason I say this is based on our family's collective command of the Tagalog dialect. Whenever we speak to each other, we hardly use deep or profound Tagalog words. Our vocabulary is pretty much limited to common or everyday Tagalog words. The deeper Tagalog words we learned along the way often came from school and from people who married into the family.

If still possible, I also want to find out what our original Chinese name was. This is due to the fact that our Chinese features are so strong that people often mistake quite a number of my cousins and I for Chinese rather than Filipino. When I was in Hongkong earlier this year, a lot of locals came up to me and spoke to me in Chinese. It may be close to impossible at this point but I still hope to set the record straight someday.

Given all this family history mess, I definitely have my work cut out for me. I plan to spend a good deal of time in Manila someday to work on sorting these things out. I hope I will still be healthy enough if and when that time comes. I want to know more about my family's past. I'm not very happy with the very limited information I have right now. I feel bad for my long deceased relatives whose names are almost lost to history. I feel bad that as a family, we haven't done a very good job of remembering the people who came before us.

I believe we owe it to our ancestors to keep memories of them alive. I also believe that we owe it to future generations of our family that they get a sense of where they came from and who they are. I fervently hope that records still exist in some government or municipal office somewhere that would provide me with leads or clues as to who they were, where they lived, and aside from us, who their other descendants are.

I'm still not certain as to what I'll do when the day comes and I finally have all the information I've long sought for in front of me. All I can say right now is I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

Oh Well....

A week from today, people in this part of the world will be exercising their right to vote for the man who will occupy the most powerful office in the world for the next four years.

National polls and trends point to an Obama victory. They may very well be proven right.

But as a lot of these electoral exercises go, different motivations and situations will drive people to prefer one candidate over another. The motivations could be any of the following: economic, political, social, or emotional.

Some people will base their decision on which candidate's campaign proposals would better address the nation's economic problems. Some people will vote upon due consideration of each candidate's resume and professional track record. Some people will vote because they share the same social experience and history with one candidate. Some people will exercise their right of suffrage and vote for the candidate simply on the strength of the endorsement of celebrities and other pop culture figures. Some people will vote for one candidate simply because his election will make history.

Regardless of who wins, the next President and Presidency will be consequential for the world if it isn't so already. The next President will either be one who was a celebrated war hero who served with distinction in the US Senate or one who has become a favorite among glitzy Hollywood celebrities and the media elite because his campaign style has been nothing short of "cool". But for many people in this world, things boil down to how a President's decision would impact their economic well-being.

For all the people's talk of how much they care for their lives; of how much they love the things that they get to enjoy in life that became possible as a result of either their job or business; of how much it means to them that future generations grow up in a morally upright environment; and of how much it means to people to have a goverment that would continue creating economic opportunities for those who seek them, it bothers me that from all indications, they will vote into office the one candidate who stands for social and economic policies that go against the very things they care about.

Oh well, as the say, "Be careful of what you wish for."

True Freedom Denied

The only freedom which deserves the name, is that of pursuing our own good in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it. Each is the proper guardian of his own health, whether bodily, or mental and spiritual. Mankind are greater gainers by suffering each other to live as seems good to themselves, than by compelling each to live as seems good to the rest.
- John Stuart Mill (1806-1873) "On Liberty"

I will keep this post brief but in the Philippine context, it is pretty obvious that my country has failed to live up to Mr. Mill's definition of what true Freedom means.

As a people, we have been denied for so long the right to pursue a life of happiness and good on our own terms. We have always been denied the right to decide what would be positive or negative for us individually. Certain sectors within our society such as the Catholic Church and its lackeys in government, along with the oligarchs, have taken it upon themselves to decide what would be good or bad for all of us.

The examples are all around us and come in various forms: press and movie censorship; the absence of a divorce law; the absence of a comprehensive reproductive health bill; a "cheap labor" economy; systemic graft and corruption; the absence of strong anti-discrimination and anti-sexual harassment laws in the workplace; dirty and violent elections; and the unfair and unequal administration of justice. These are but to name a few.

The absence of true freedom has set our country back. In my humble opinion, denying the people the chance to decide what makes them happy and what is good for their own well-being tends to demoralize them and kill individual initiative.

The country has so many structural problems that require immediate attention and meaningful solutions. I've often wondered if we will ever see the day when these problems will finally get resolved. Millions of our countrymen have already lost all hope that they're now leaving the country in droves to fulfill their dreams elsewhere. People will always go where they feel their skills are needed and where they know they will be fairly compensated for their contributions.

We will never be able to fix our nation's problems for as long as we fail to conduct intelligent and open-minded discussions in an environment that's free from fear and intolerance. It is only through open, honest and thoughtful discussion of issues will many brilliant ideas see the light of day. But until then, our nation's problems will remain simply because certain powerful sectors of our society have decided that what's good for them ought to be good for the rest of us.

Thoughts On A Job

My work week ends a day early today. After a closing meeting with the division's management, we will be rushing back to Bob Hope Airport later this evening for our flight back East.

It was a busy week at work. Meetings, interviews, and hours spent observing the division's operations made it quite a hectic one. But all throughout, our contacts managed to remain very friendly and cooperative in spite of weaknesses and areas for improvement we found and identified with their processes.

A lot of times, one has to destroy in order to build. My job facilitates the process of destroying procedural and operational weaknesses in order to help our divisions run better.

In some ways, I'm glad that I do what I do where I'm at. This country has a strong culture of professionalism at work. People remain very civil and professional even when they disagree with another individual's opinion. In my situation, they understand that I'm simply doing my job when I inform them of areas they need to improve on, things that I know they sometimes don't like to hear. People take a lot of pride in their work and it could be quite a delicate matter when I'm dealing with someone who was the brains behind a particular process or procedure. It is critical for me to manage to retain their support and cooperation because I will certainly need such when I ask them to implement my recommendations.

I make sure to give the people credit where credit is due. I give people credit for what they've accomplished before discussing the areas for improvement. In a lot of situations, people work with whatever resources are available to them. They certainly deserve credit for making the best out of difficult situations. One aspect of my job that I really like is that my findings help shed light on areas that need improvement. And once that light shines on a problem, it often forces a division's management to pour the resources needed to fix it.

On the human side of things, I appreciate the fact that in this country, people can disagree with each other without becoming disagreeable. In the years that I've done this job over here, I haven't come across someone who has taken my findings as a personal attack. They all know and understand that we all have a job to do and that we all aim for what's good for the company and for everyone.

Thinking about the whole thing reminds me of some sad experiences I had when I was still back in the Philippines. For doing the exact same job I'm doing now, I received a death threat from a client whose selfish interests drove his opposition to my recommendations; I had seen our team's findings and recommendations distorted by another client's management to pursue an agenda against their laborers; and I had also witnessed how one client's management twisted and bent our recommendations to continue their corrupt practices. Although I had also seen several instances where our recommendations were implemented to the letter, it is sad to note that such instances did not make up the majority of what I saw. Is it any wonder then that our country is in the state that it is in?

At the end of the day, I am the type of person who just wants to do his job in the way it was meant to be done. The professional idealism I had from my youth has managed to remain with me in a lot of ways. Sometimes office politics do come into play but such things are unavoidable in human organizations. However, as long as the areas that need improvement are addressed to everyone's satisfaction, that's all I care about.

Ain't No Sunshine

It's Monday and it's a holiday here in the States as the country marks Labor Day. I'm nearing the end of a long weekend and frankly, I'm not very happy about it. Instead of making the most out of this day, especially with the gorgeous weather outside, I'm feeling a bit stressed with the thought that I'll be back at work in less than 24 hours.

I'm feeling a bit exhausted physically and mentally. I need a real long break but except for quitting the job (which is definitely not an option), I am limited by company policy to the number of personal and vacation days per year I'm allowed to take. I wish I could take and lump all those days into one long extended vacation. But it's certainly not possible given the demands at work. Thus, I have to content myself with taking a day off every once in a while not unlike a swimmer who needs to come up for air every few seconds as he swims towards the finish line.

And to add to my blues, I miss being with her. A short two-minute song the words to which I find simple yet personally meaningful are helping me through the moment.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
It's not warm when she's away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's always gone too long
Anytime she goes away.

Wonder this time where she's gone,
Wonder if she's gone to stay;
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Anytime she goes away.

And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know

Hey, I ought to leave the young thing alone,
But ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
Only darkness everyday.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone,
And this house just ain't no home
Anytime she goes away.

Anytime she goes away.
Anytime she goes away.

And now I write.

This song's called "Ain't No Sunshine" and was written and performed by the great Bill Withers. The song, cut from his debut album "Just As I Am", became the first hit for Mr. Withers when it was released back in 1971. The song peaked at number 3 on the Billboard charts. The above live performance was from 1972 on a music program called "Old Grey Whistle Test", a music show that ran on British television, specifically the BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation), from 1971 to 1987.

Bill Withers was a gifted musician and lyricist. From the above video, you could see that he was also a great singer gifted with a rather powerful set of lungs. What caught my attention the first time I heard this song was when he came to the part where he repeatedly sang "I know, I know..." continuously and without pause for a total of 26 times. I've tried singing this part several times but it's always left me gasping for breath. Hehehe

Some of you may have never heard of this guy but I'm pretty sure that a lot of you know of at least one other particular song of his. Back in March 1987, an R&B group called Club Nouveau scored a number one hit on the Billboard Charts with the song "Lean On Me". The song struck a chord with listeners because of its very positive message of extending love and care for one's neighbor. It longed for a strong sense of brotherhood in a time when an individual's needs seems to be valued more than the community's.

Club Nouveau eventually won a Grammy for Best R&B Song. Lean On Me also became the group's first and only number 1 hit. Mr. Withers was the man who wrote the song and was the first artist to take the song to the top of the charts back in July 1972. The following video is a live performance of the song by Bill Withers:

This song remains very popular because its positive message of love and friendship continues to resonate. Aside from Club Nouveau, the song has been covered by a number of other artists such as Al Jarreau, Michael Bolton, and Limp Bizkit, to name a few.

Bill Withers scored other hits aside from the two I just mentioned. His other hits that I count as personal favorites are "Lovely Day" and "Just The Two Of Us". Just The Two Of Us was a collaboration with the late saxophonist Grover Washington (1943-1999) and topped the charts worldwide in 1981. But at the time and for some reason, a lot of radio stations in Manila mentioned Grover Washington as the artist behind the song. But just to help set the record straight, Mr. Withers co-wrote the song and performed the vocals as evidenced by the following video:

Mr. Withers retired from recording in 1985.

Something Worth Pondering

A hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove.

But the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.

Life's Trials

We all have our down moments and they happen for a number of reasons. Like everyone else, I also have my own set of issues or problems to deal with. Some, you can say, were of my making. Some, on the other hand, were not. Some arose out of stupid mistakes while others were the unintended consequences of actions done with the best of intentions. And finally, some became my problem simply because they were thrust upon me as a matter of moral and family responsibility.

We try our best to deal with the issues before us and we deal with them in the best way we know how. But sometimes, our personal limitations that result from factors such as our upbringing, education, and life experiences hinder us from arriving at the best possible solution. Such limitations often lead us to frustration and despair.

Thinking of some of the issues I have in front of me, I couldn't help but be in a bit of despair earlier today. Music is one of the things I seek refuge in in such moments. And thank God for the following song for it reminds me that a time will come when the issues we all face will eventually come to a resolution.

All my trials, Lord, soon be over.

I had a little book was given to me,
And every page spelled liberty.
All my trials, Lord, soon be over.

If religion were a thing that money could buy,
The rich would live and the poor would die.
All my trials, Lord, soon be over.

Too late my brothers, too late, but never mind.
All my trials, Lord, soon be over.

There is a tree in paradise
The pilgrims call it the tree of life
All my trials, Lord, soon be over.

Too late my brothers, too late, but never mind.
All my trials, lord, soon be over.
All my trials lord, soon be over.

As I have done in the past on this blog, I will be remiss if I don't at least provide you with some information on the song.

The song is called "All My Trials", an American folk song. A number of music artists such as Pete Seeger, Joan Baez, and Peter, Paul & Mary helped popularize it during the 1960s . The song became a popular protest song during that time, a period when protests erupted around the world clamoring for badly needed social reform and an end to the disastrous Vietnam war. The fight in the United States was over civil rights and the Vietnam war while in the Philippines and a host of other Third World nations, the fight was over social and economic reforms and non-alignment with the superpowers.

Going back to this song, it was never clear as to who originally wrote it. The Peter, Paul & Mary CD I have simply classifies the song as "Traditional", meaning the song's been around for generations that it was difficult to determine its origin with finality. The lyrics I posted above also came from the said CD. The folk singer Joan Baez added some verses to the original lyrics while Peter, Paul & Mary stuck with what seem to be the song's original words.

Regardless, the song captured the imagination of the protest movement because it helped hold out the hope that in spite of the challenges they faced fighting for what they believed in, they knew that someday, their struggles will be over.

In the Still of the Night

So before the light,
Hold me again
With all your might
In the still of the night.

In my drunken stupor, thoughts of you come to me. That's then when they find me at my loneliest, when they find me at my saddest.

Shorn of the control and discipline that sobriety uses to shield me, my tears and pain come and flow easily.

I guess I'll just have to close my eyes and let alcohol's power lull me to a deep sleep. At least when the morning comes, she'll find sobriety back fully recovered and me smiling at the world again, even for just a while.

The Very Thought of You

The very thought of you
And I forget to do
Those little ordinary things
That everyone ought to do.

I'm livin' in a kind of a daydream.
I'm happy as a king.
And foolish though it may seem,
To me, that's everything.

The mere idea of you,
The longing here for you;
You'll never know
How slow the moments go
Till I'm near to you.

I see your face in every flower,
Your eyes in stars above;
It's just the thought of you,
The very thought of you, my love.

There are simply moments when no other words can better express what I feel than these words Mr. Ray Noble wrote many years ago. The words and music keep me company during those days and nights when I long for yours. Although I can't be with you all the time, my thoughts will always be.

Switching Careers

"Hi Mr. Panaderos, my name is Zack Robert and I'm with Robert & Co. The job market is hot right now and I was wondering if you're considering a possible career move in the next few months. If so, I was...."

"Good morning, Mr. Panaderos. I'm Joe Farley and I'm with XYZ Consulting. I noticed that you've been with your company for x number of years and I was wondering, given the hot job market in your field, if you're contemplating a move back to your previous industry...."

"Hi, I'm Andy Smith and I was wondering if I could interest you in a job in the central part of the state. It's a growing area and this particular client of ours has a need for someone with your expertise....."

From time to time, I get such calls from headhunters/recruiters asking me if I would be interested in a career move. The calls often come from out of the blue. These people often go through the membership rolls of professional associations and pick names that would end up on their list of prospects. Whenever they call, they often ask if I'm seriously considering leaving my job for a new one or for a new industry or for a job that's in a totally different geographic area. They often try to entice me with potential benefits such as less travel, a higher position, better pay, better benefits, and other perks designed to pique one's interest.

Less travel, higher pay, higher position. It should be an easy decision, right?

Well, I admit that the pitches can get very tempting at times. Indeed, there are moments when I feel physically exhausted from all the traveling I do. Although I've been to a lot of cities here in the US, I've never really had the luxury of taking some time off from work to go sightseeing. This is because a good part of my day (and evening) is spent hunkered down either in a cubicle or in a conference room making sure that all of my team's objectives will be met on or close to schedule.

The money can be quite tempting too. Although I'm comfortable and quite happy with the money I make, it's not of an amount that would allow for an early retirement or luxurious living. Although there are things I can certainly buy, it does not necessarily mean that I could afford them. There's a world of difference between the two.

Yes, the travel could be quite tiring at times and yes, the additional money could certainly help, but there are other things one ought to spend a good deal of time pondering on before making a career move.

A new job means starting over and investing valuable time and effort (again) to know a new boss and new co-workers. A new job means dealing with an entirely new set of people and building new professional and personal relationships with them. It's a gamble because we will never know the quality and type of people we will be working with until we join the new company.

On the other hand, staying in our current job means continuing to build on relationships we have with people we already know and who in turn already know us. This people have already seen and appreciated our contributions, know our capabilities and our limitations. What's also important and not to be taken lightly is that a certain degree of trust now exists in our relationship with them, trust that took time to build.

The prevailing culture in a company also needs to be considered. There are companies where the work environment promotes a "survival of the fittest" type of mentality among its workers. Work is often hard and the work hours are long in companies under this environment. On the other hand, there are companies where the culture, although still competitive, still manages to retain both a professional and family-type of atmosphere where a lot of people know and respect each other. Needless to say, the second type of work environment tends to generate a lot more loyalty in its employees than the first.

I've worked in both environments. Back in my IT days, I worked for a Fortune 100 company where it was a "perfect storm" as far as a demoralizing work environment is concerned. My peers and I worked long hours to support the clients' operations but at the same time we were also required to train people from half a world away to replace us. There was a period of three years when hardly anybody in the department, except for the best performers, had a raise. What made matters worse, the company implemented Jack Welch's bell curve system of employee ranking as a basis for firing employees on a quarterly basis. In my department, we had started off with a headcount of 45 people. By the time I left for my current job four years later , our department was down to just three people, the Director included. What started off as a department with a strong spirit of camaraderie among its members degenerated into an "every man for himself" attitude a few years later simply because of the tone the company had set.

In sharp contrast, I've also worked for companies where the work environment was great and where everyone was treated in a very professional manner. Employee rankings were used for what they were originally intended to be: to mentor and help employees develop their skills. Though employees were not paid as well as the ones in my previous job, they were noticeably happier, took great pride in their work, and were fiercely loyal to the company. Employee turnover was a lot lower too.

Last but not least, one has to love what he/she is doing. None of the high salaries, great benefits, and great work environment would matter if one's miserable at one's job. I left my previous job because aside from all the negatives in the environment, I no longer had any passion for the work I did. I was depressed and for a long while, I felt no satisfaction and fulfillment from my work. I was miserable.

All factors considered, I'm staying put for now. I love what I'm doing and I love the work environment. My boss is not perfect but aside from being an intelligent man, he is also a very understanding person, one who's also blessed with a kind heart. My peers are not perfect too but they've been a very supportive and professional bunch. The only downside is that I commute close to two hours to work each way everyday but still, all things considered, I find that a small price to pay.

Professionalism

"Being a professional is doing the things you love to do, on the days you don't feel like doing them." - Julius Erving

Wise words from an NBA Legend. As professionals, we engage in an occupation or work as a means of livelihood or for personal gain. In the workplace, we are expected to always give our best, put our best foot forward, and put in an honest day's work. As professionals, we are then held to certain work and ethical standards.

However, we're also human and like every other human being, there are days and/or moments when we find it quite difficult to focus on the work or task before us. Instead of working on either a report or a presentation that's coming due, we find our thoughts wandering off, often to non-work related stuff. It may be due to a variety of reasons such as fatigue, an illness, or personal problems. As a result, we sometimes find ourselves either surfing the web or blogging. Sometimes we walk over to a coworker's cubicle to engage in some chitchat about the day's events or talk about any other topic under the sun except for work.

We may call those moments "mental breaks" or "recharging" but for some people, they will be quick to label those moments as "unproductive time" or "down time". Some would question our work ethic, call us "lazy", and some self-proclaimed moralists would even render a judgment on us by saying that we failed to put in an honest day's work.

Deep within, I must admit that it does bother me a lot whenever I get into such unproductive periods. My feelings are mixed at best. Although I do enjoy taking mental breaks, a part of me also laments the time lost in the process. A good part of my regret is also deeply personal. I view those unproductive spells as my failure to match my father's work ethic.

In all his years at work, I never saw my father open or read a newspaper while he was in the office, not even during lunch breaks. He would only bother to open and read the papers at night, once he was home. But while on the job, he was all work. He was all work from the moment he stepped in his office in the morning to the moment he packed up at night.

I was certain that the papers were never read in the office because they were still very neatly folded and looked as crisp and fresh as the moment they were placed on his desk earlier that day. That was the example he set for me and one I've always tried to live up to with varying degrees of success.

But like my father, I do value my job and I do take great pride in my work. I make sure that with every report I submit and every presentation I make, that I am well prepared and confident to respond to questions directed at me. I make sure that I have command of all the details necessary to support a position or a recommendation. The approach has so far helped me with my career.

But it is also my view that I would rather take a much needed mental break than submit a work product of questionable quality. But make no mistake. Deadlines do matter to me and I won't be caught dead missing any of them unless it was for factors beyond my control.

Looking back, I probably decided somewhere in my past to take an approach different fr0m my father's but to still strive towards the same end. The approaches we took were probably different because our personalities were different. Our life experiences were different too. All his hard work and sacrifices, some dating back from his childhood, did make life a little more comfortable for me and my sister.

Using Mr. Erving's definition of a Professional as the benchmark, maybe I am less of a professional than my father. However, if his definition of a Professional was based on the quality of one's output, maybe I have a fighting chance.

The "Strategist" in the Baker

I took a personality test earlier today at the request of my buddy, Gizelle. So off I went to the mypersonality.info site. The test I took classified me as an INTJ or "Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging", a personality type that is also known as "The Strategist".

INTJ persons were described as: introspective, analytical, determined persons with natural leadership ability. Being reserved, they prefer to stay in the background while leading. Strategic, knowledgable and adaptable, INTJs are talented in bringing ideas from conception to reality. They expect perfection from themselves as well as others and are comfortable with the leadership of another so long as they are competent. INTJs can also be described as decisive, open-minded, self-confident, attentive, theoretical and pragmatic.

Sometimes people perceive me to be a bit aloof ("suplado") but it's because "To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise -- and INTJs can have several -- they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how." - INTJ Profile

Lastly, according to the Portrait of an INTJ, "INTJs are natural leaders, although they usually choose to remain in the background until they see a real need to take over the lead. When they are in leadership roles, they are quite effective, because they are able to objectively see the reality of a situation, and are adaptable enough to change things which aren't working well. They are the supreme strategists - always scanning available ideas and concepts and weighing them against their current strategy, to plan for every conceivable contingency. "

The downside to this is that INTJs were estimated to make up only 1.5% of the population. It tells you therefore that my dating prospects are quite limited. Hehehe

Gizelle, if you won't mind, I'll respond to your other tag tomorrow. Thanks.

Here Comes The Sun

Little darling,

It's been a long cold lonely winter;

Little darling,

It feels like years since it's been here.

- The Beatles

It may be quite hard to imagine but in a few weeks, all these oak trees will be thick and green with leaves once again, bringing much needed life and vibrance back to what now seems to be a dead and drought-parched forest.

Soon, the summer birds will be back, the kids will be out in full force playing in the parks, and people will be working and planting flowers in their gardens. A renewal.

Spring's finally here.

Original Photo by: Panaderos

Happy Easter Everyone!

Dear Readers, please enjoy this little Easter video that was patterned after my moves on the dance floor. Hahaha Just kidding about the moves.

Let me also share with you below "The Original Human Tetris Performance" by Gillaume Reymond, one of YouTube's Best of 2007 awardees. It shows you what some people can come up with if they have a lot of free time on their hands:

Wherever you all are in the world, I hope and pray that this Easter finds you and your loved ones happy, safe, and well. Take care.

Finding Love

"When I was alone then, no love in sight
And I did everything I could to get me through the night;
Don't know where it started or where it might end,
I turn to a stranger, just like a friend."
- Waylon Jennings ("Lookin' for Love")

Late in the evening of Thursday last week, a Cebu Pacific flight left Manila for Bangkok. On board that flight was Alice Cadian, a pretty and vivacious girl in her late twenties who works for a multinational company in Makati City.

The purpose of the Bangkok trip wasn't business. It wasn't vacation either. Alice made the trip to finally meet up with a European gentleman, one she had been corresponding with online for about a year now.

Alice made the trip very much against the well-intentioned advice of her closest friends who had expressed their concerns for her safety and well-being. Their concerns were valid for they already have a very good idea of what to expect in the weeks or months to come. They've seen the scenes play out so many times before. She meets a man, falls fast and hard for him, quickly dreams of a future to share with him, but alas, always ends up losing him. Not a few times have tears streamed endlessly down her pretty face whenever her relationships come to a sad and bitterly disappointing end.

Her situation raises some questions. When it comes to love, how, where and when do we find THE ONE? I've been on several relationships myself in the many years I've been on this earth. But to this day, and based on personal experience, I still do not really know the answers to those questions. Nor will I even try to find them.

Alice is such a sweet and pretty girl. She's funny and there's never a dull moment with her. Many a man would love to love someone like her. But maybe, all she needs to do is ease up on things a bit and not to force the issue to find the one true love that has so far eluded her.

There are a million and one ways to find love. Some find love within one's social circle, some find love at work or through some career-related association, some find it online, and for some, they find love serendipitously.

In the end, I believe love will simply happen, at a time and place of its own choosing. And when it does, it will find us and, if we're lucky, stay with us.

Cats in the Cradle

A child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."

And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?"
"I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."

My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."

And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?"
"I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."

Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?
"He shook his head, and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. Can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?"
"I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."

I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."

And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.

And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?"
"I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."

- Harry Chapin (1942-1981)

Each moment not spent with a child is a moment lost forever.

How?

... does one right a listing ship?
... does one restore order in the face of seemingly overwhelming chaos and confusion?
... does one swim against a tide?
... does one make one's voice heard amidst all the noise in a crowd?

There are simply moments when one feels he's fighting a losing battle.