On Philippine Divorce

This entry focuses on the Divorce question in the Philippines. Divorce is one of those issues that the Philippines has not gotten around to implement due to a combination of strong Catholic traditions and strong Church influence on national affairs. In my own little way and through this little blog, I would just like to add my voice to the thousands (and hopefully millions) of Filipinos who are crying out for a smart and reasonable government policy on marital dissolution. I do not find it necessary to post the provisions of the 1987 Philippine Constitution that supposedly forbid the legalization of divorce. Google is readily available for that. However, what I am going to do is discuss my reasons and my stand as to why Divorce should be legalized in my dear country.

First of all, I find it lamentable that the principle of separation of Church and State is gradually being weakened in Philippine political life. Back in the day (both pre-martial law and martial law years) when the two-party system was in place, there was only one religious group that voted as a bloc, the Iglesia Ni Cristo (INC). Though politicians courted the INC's vote, their numbers, as a percentage of the Filipino population, were not big enough to significantly dictate or influence national policy.

Today, we have a multi-party system in place where no single political party commands a clear majority in Congress. As a result, the Filipino electorate has been spliced and diced so many times over to the point that these days, not only do we have an INC vote, but we also now have an urban poor vote, the left-wing vote, the Muslim vote, the military vote, and the Catholic vote, to cite a few examples. The Catholic vote has even been split further between the traditional Catholic and the El Shaddai factions. It is political niche marketing at its best, albeit with potentially disastrous repercussions.

The splintering of the political parties and the Filipino electorate had the unfortunate result of unduly increasing the influence of the Catholic Church on the country's political affairs. Thanks to the current President's lack of political spine, the Church has been allowed to infringe on government policy. I watch with alarm as the Church's influence on our lives has grown to the point that it now has an indirect say on what movies we can watch, how many children we can have, when and for what reasons are we allowed to have sex, and why the State should continue supporting a policy that would permanently trap couples into a loveless and, oftentimes miserable, marriage. In a lot of ways, it seems that the Spanish Friars are back in town except this time, their skin is brown.

Here is a plain and simple truth. Not all Filipinos belong to the Roman Catholic Church. Not all Filipino Roman Catholics hear Mass. And of those who do attend Mass regularly and actually listen to the homilies, I believe that it is safe to say that not all of them subscribe to the Church's views on birth control.

On a personal level, my parents consider themselves as devout Catholics. However, when it came to matters such as birth control and family planning, they parted ways with the Church. Being an outcome of an unsuccessful attempt at birth control, I asked them one time why this was so. Their response was that when it came to sex, they saw no reason to listen to the lectures and to be faithful to the rules being set by someone or a group who supposedly abstains from it. If they can't do the walk, why listen to them talk? Religion served as a spiritual guide, not a practical reference. I don't believe that their view is unique for I am pretty confident that millions of intelligent and responsible Filipino couples feel the same way.

I also do not share the view of some anti-divorce activists that legalizing divorce would encourage family breakups. I strongly disagree. Imposing a total ban on divorce is tantamount to a denial that family breakups occur. The current absence or lack of divorce/annulment statistics prevents our country from obtaining a clear and objective picture of the state of the Filipino family. Is it a wonder then that in the absence of such statistics/information, intelligent government policy and laws that would oversee the breakup of a family are pretty much non-existent in our country?

Yes, we do have marital annulments in our country. The Family Code allows a marriage to be annulled if it can be proved that one party was "psychologically incapacitated to comply with the essential marital obligations of marriage." In this case, what constituted "psychological incapacity" was based on Canon law. Examples of psychological incapacity included homosexuality; lesbianism; emotional immaturity or irresponsibility; criminality; satyriasis; habitual alcoholism; and epilepsy. (Can you believe that last one?)

However, the problem with the annulment process is that it is quite onerous to the average Filipino. It can be quite costly as it usually requires spending hundreds of thousands of pesos. However, spending that amount of money does not guarantee a successful conclusion. Other factors could also come into play and affect the outcome such as the attitude of the presiding judge. Does the judge have a conservative/liberal bent? Is the judge rabidly pro-family or one who realizes the realities of life and marriage?

The process could also drag on if the other half decides to contest the annulment. Appeals, if any, could also cost quite a bit of money and could drag on for years. As is the case with the original lawsuit, there is also no guarantee that an appeal would succeed. Thus, given the odds against them, a lot of couples in loveless marriages are then left with no recourse but to either live apart but stay married in name only or stay together and make their lives and those of their kids a "living hell".

What do we say to a battered wife who suffers daily at the hands of a physically and/or psychologically abusive husband? What do we say to a husband/wife who toils overseas but whose hard-earned earnings are being misspent by a cheating spouse? What do we say to a wife whose children are being sexually molested or emotionally abused by a husband? How many times have we heard of single mothers who work hard to support their children without any help from the husband? How many families do we know off where one spouse just ran off with another partner and left the family to fend for themselves? What do we say to the kids who are emotionally abused in a loveless household? What do we say to these victims? Do we just tell them, "Sorry guys, that's the hand fate dealt you. Deal with it."?

We do not have to agree with Divorce to support its legalization. I strongly disagree with people who equate advocating the legalization of divorce to a disrespect for the sanctity of marriage. That's a very narrow and simplistic view in my humble opinion. Offering divorce as a legal option is an acceptance of a social reality. Not all marriages work. People, being human, commit mistakes everyday. And sometimes, mistakes are made in choosing a partner for life. For those people who are in failing marriages, the laws should provide one or both of the people involved a way out; an option to start over.

Divorce does break up a family. There's no debate about that. However, it is not and should not be viewed as the cause of a marital breakup. The Divorce process gives people an option to start over; the chance at a new and hopefully, better life. The process is not and should not be limited to marital dissolution. Though Divorce puts an end to a marriage, it does not let one spouse off the hook, so to speak. There are consequences to a divorce due to the fact that the divorce process also decides on areas such as child custody, spousal support or alimony, child support, child visits, and a fair and equitable redistribution of a couple's assets. I strongly believe that this process is a much better and humane alternative for it protects a family's well-being. That alone makes it a much better option than breaking up a family through abandonment.

The absence of a reasonable Divorce law/process is another one of those signs that we live in an unjust society. Its continued absence denies people one of their basic rights: the right to be happy. We can't call ourselves a genuine and respectable democracy if we continue to stigmatize and ignore the plight of certain sectors of our society through the absence or lack of a coherent national policy. We are all Filipinos and all laws should equally apply to all of us. No law should favor one sect over another.

From an economic standpoint, a happy person is a very productive person. If our society is to move forward economically, we need to do so with all engines running. So please, let us have a sober and mature discussion about Divorce and come up with a way to finally implement it.

The Worst Irony

Doesn't it sadden us no end when we have to do things we absolutely hate doing simply because we love?

A Hard Day's Night

If you had noticed my avatar, you would rightly conclude that I am a big Beatles fan. I am. They rose to worldwide fame way before I was born and their fame was at its height during my toddler years. I only became a fan in my early elementary years long after the band had broken up.

I still remember the exact moment when I got turned on to the Beatles. It was on a weekday afternoon after coming home from school. I was in first grade then. One of the TV stations, RPN-9, had a daily afternoon feature called "Daily Matinee" where they showed foreign movies from 1 pm to 3 pm. I had just finished my lunch when I decided to turn the tv on. A voice on the tv announced that for that afternoon, they were featuring a movie called "A Hard Day's Night". I had no idea what it was about but decided to tune in. The following scene was what greeted me:

Needless to say, the opening scene piqued my interest and made me watch the rest of the movie. I was never the same afterwards.

Just a bit of trivia: One of the many fans on the film running after the Beatles is a young Phil Collins. Quite hard to spot but he's there. :)

A Shot Across The Bow

You seduce and flatter them through your mastery of the written word.
You use their love for books as bait to lure them to your lair.
Word is out on who and what you really are.

Better make sure no harm comes to any of them because I'm watching you. Closely.

What A Waste

Discriminatory hiring has long been a problem in Philippine business. Though an obvious bane to Philippine economic development, it remains as the proverbial elephant in the room. It's there. It's a big problem but nobody bothers to deal with it.

Earlier today, I browsed through some job ads for positions in the Metro Manila area. Some of the ads I saw showed the following requirements for the positions mentioned:

Finance Manager - female; 37-45 years old; preferably living in Quezon City
Accounting Staff - preferably single; not more than 27 years old
Training Specialist - not more than 32 years old
HR Assistant - 23 to 28 years old
Account Executive - female; 21 to 26 years of age; graduate of Business or Marketing course from reputable schools

These discriminatory hiring practices have been in place for generations. They are a national embarassment. In other countries, finding the above language on job ads would trigger job discrimination lawsuits and would be a public relations disaster for any self-respecting company. I am wondering as to why, after all these years, both the Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE) and the Philippine Congress have not stepped up to the plate to address this matter.

Congressman Rozzano Rufino "Ruffy" Biazon filed House Bill No. 1997 ("An Act Prohibiting Discrimination in the Hiring of Employees or Workers in General With Regard to Their Age and Education Institution From Which They Earned Their Degrees, and For Other Purposes") back in 2004 in an effort to address and halt discriminatory hiring practices based on age and schooling. As to why he did not include sex, marital status, and disability-based discrimination escapes me at the moment. A check on Congress' website showed that this bill was submitted to the House Committee on Labor and Employment in August 2004 for appropriate action. Sad news is that the bill seems to have stalled because it remains in a "Pending" status with the same committee more than three years since its submission.

These hiring practices are a deplorable waste of available human talent and skill. They also send the wrong message to the country's youth in that "form" is much more valued than "substance". It does not matter what a person has to offer in terms of intelligence, skills, and/or work ethic. A higher premium is placed on a person who has a pleasing personality (which is difficult to determine with objectivity), graduated from the right school, is of the right gender, of a certain height, and below a certain age.

Discriminatory hiring practices deny people the opportunity to improve their lot in life. They reflect an unjust and short-sighted society. How could a skilled father or mother raise and educate two or three kids to be productive, tax-paying citizens in the future if he/she is denied employment? How could we get a skilled but handicapped person off the government's welfare rolls and reallocate the funds that used to support him/her to other uses if he/she is denied employment?

These practices are also a form of economic sabotage for how could the benefits of economic growth trickle down to the masses when they are denied a fair opportunity to compete for jobs? How could we effectively address the problems of poverty, hunger, and poor education if we deny a skilled father or mother the chance to properly nourish and educate his/her children? Discriminatory hiring sentences skilled people to a life of economic irrelevance.

The government has pulled out all the stops to support OFWs because they bring much needed dollars into the country. They help prop up an otherwise frail economy. But any comprehensive economic development plan should also include putting policies and laws in place that would prohibit discriminatory hiring against workers who choose to remain within the country. For local businesses and the economy to grow, we need to tap all the skills and talent that are readily available to us.

We need to put an end to our country's economic equivalent of a caste system. It's about time that it be replaced with a system that places more value in what a person has to offer. I just hope for everyone's sake that these discriminatory practices be put to an end within our lifetime.

Bad Signs for America's Mayor

News came out today that former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani's poll numbers have dipped in both Florida and California. The dip is remarkable in Florida where he has pretty much focused all his efforts to win in the Republican primaries scheduled for next Tuesday, February 5th.

He rose to national prominence because of September 11. To his credit, he did significantly reduce the crime rate in New York City and improved the quality of life there. However, those came at a price.

The guy was known to be ruthless to people who dared cross him. The man he promoted to be New York's police commissioner during his term as mayor, Bernard Kerik, is currently embroiled in corruption and tax-related charges. Giuliani himself is under intense criticism for abuse of power during his administration. He has been accused of assigning policemen as security detail for his then-lover and current spouse, Judith Nathan. He antagonized sectors of the city, especially the African-American community, with the way he handled their complaints and police abuses.

A few months ago, Mr. Giuliani seemed and acted like he was the frontrunner in the race for the Republican nomination. He thought he could run on the strength of his 9/11 record and his moderate views. But, from all indications, the voters have decided that his record as New York City mayor deserved a deeper review, one that goes beyond 9/11. Now it appears that they have done just that.

The Republicans have had four primaries and up to now, Mr. Giuliani has not won a single one. He failed to even place second or third in any of them. Now, in the latest sign of what is turning out to be a faltering campaign, reports are coming out that his campaign is running out of funds.

What a difference a few months certainly make.

My First Love

This was my first true love affair, my first real obsession; and I have my dear father to thank for introducing me to this one particular love. It was a relationship that lasted years; one that was both pure and complex. It was pure for its innocence, its honesty, and for the constant and reliable companionship it provided. But the relationship was also complex because it was also marred by abuse, heartache, and loss. With this, I'm referring to my childhood love affair with Matchbox® toy cars.

Matchbox came to my life courtesy of my dear father. It was the late sixties and my father was then working in the Santa Cruz district of Manila. Through his job, he became very good friends with a Chinese businessman who ran a bazaar (a term widely used for small department stores at the time) over at the neighboring district of Quiapo. So there were many an evening when before heading home from work that my father would stop by his friend's store to buy a few of those toy cars for me.

It was love at first sight. Those shiny little cars came smartly wrapped in their trademark yellow and blue boxes. Their appeal to kids like me was their smart and accurate reproduction of actual cars. I found it so cool to hold in my little hands miniature versions of the Ford, Mercedes Benz, Pontiac, and Dodge cars and trucks that were popular at the time.

The following were some of the cars I had in my "garage":

Ford Kennel Truck

Lincoln Continental

Rolls Royce Silver Shadow
(All photos were from the Christian Falkensteiner Collection.)

I eventually ended up with a few dozen of these toy cars. With them, I let my imagination run free. I recreated the traffic jams and car accidents I saw on Manila’s streets right on our living room floor. To recreate off-road driving conditions, I played with them in the garden when it was sunny and on an unmade bed or on the sofa when it was raining. Creases on bed sheets were imagined to be either potholes or caution humps/speed bumps on the road. Recreating the flooded streets of Manila was not a problem for I quickly found sections on our driveway where water tended to accumulate after a rain or car washing. Rainy driving conditions were recreated using my mother’s watering can. I raced those cars too and even named a supposedly annual grand prix after my hometown.

I had a lot of happy and fun moments with those cars. With their help, I was able to assume a variety of roles such as a policeman, a fireman, a garbage collector, a bus driver, and possibly the worst mechanic in the world. In turn, and in their collective silence, they always knew when I was happy and when I was down. They were silent witnesses to the many tears I shed but hid from family and friends. There were even moments when they knew and felt my anger and frustrations. At any given moment, they knew how I truly saw the people and things around me. From them, I kept no secrets.

My father’s retired now. His Chinese friend has long since passed away; the bazaar he ran is now but a memory. But those toy cars that kept me company through all those otherwise lonely moments are still around, safely tucked away in a shoebox in our old family home in Manila. Like my father, they are retired too. Their playing days are over. They bear the scars, bruises, and damage from all the times we shared. Even though they're no longer as pretty and smart-looking as they did on the day I first set eyes on them, they remain very dear and special to me.

For now, they will remain in a shoebox until that day when I fly back to Manila to finally take them home with me.

Quick Announcements

Just a few announcements:

To those of you who are still interested in reading the full New York Magazine article on rich kids' problems with depression, self-worth, and loneliness, I've posted the link to the article on this site.

You can either click on the link to the left of this screen called "To Be Rich And Lonely (The Sequel)"; or you can scroll down this page. The post is dated January 14.

I apologize for the delay in posting the article.

Another announcement. Sad news from the Chess world today. Bobby Fischer, American chess genius, died Thursday, January 17, in Reykjavik, Iceland. Cause of death was kidney failure. To honor the man, the New York Times published this tribute on their January 19th (Saturday) issue.

I first heard of this man from my father who was, and still is, quite a chess fanatic. First heard of him back in 1972 when Mr. Fischer faced off with Russian grandmaster Boris Spassky in a world championship match that was also held in Reykjavik, Iceland. The match caught the world's attention because it was also symbolic of the cold war between the US and the Soviet Union at the time. To a lot of kids of my generation, Mr. Fischer was the one who single-handedly made the game of chess popular and "cool".

May he finally rest in peace.

An Ounce of Prevention

I'm still quite new to blogging, having started this blog at the beginning of this month. Prior to having my own, I spent the last couple of years bloghopping and commenting on a number of blogs the authors of which I greatly admired for their eloquence and style of writing and, more often than not, who shared the same interests/views as I did.

Since this is a public blog, I would like to let the reader(s) know that I had observed some serious flaws on quite a number of blogs, specifically the failure of some bloggers to protect themselves from potential harm.

Through bloghopping, I observed that quite a number of bloggers fail to take the necessary precautions, even the most basic ones, to protect themselves from unscrupulous people who prowl through cyberspace for potential victims.

I noted that quite a number of bloggers posted photos of themselves, their friends, and family members online. A number of the photos even had captions with the names of the individuals on the picture. I had likewise observed personal information such as names, phone numbers, and the companies they work for were discussed/mentioned on blog entries or shown via photos posted on their blog sites. I also saw a blog where the owner took a photo of the invitation card for a children's party where the card clearly showed the owner's cellphone number, home phone number, and home address. All of the above were shown on blogs aimed for public consumption.

I am pretty sure that these bloggers were very decent people who meant well. They saw their blog as a means of communicating with friends, relatives, and other acquaintances. However, they need to be mindful of the fact that by posting very personal information in a very public manner, they may be opening themselves up to some serious problems down the road.

The following is a list of suggestions. Though this list is by no means a complete one, they provide a blogger with a few steps to start minimizing his/her digital footprints.

Photos

Bloggers basically have the following options here:

1. Refrain from posting a photo of yourself online;
2. If it is unavoidable to post a photo with you in it, block your face out of that photo. You would not want unsavory characters, such as online stalkers, from getting a very good look at you; and
3. Unless you're in a profession that requires a high public profile (acting and politics are examples), post your photos in a photo album and restrict access to the photos only to people personally known to you.

Name

Instead of putting your name on a blog entry or using it as your domain name, make one up. Come up with a pseudonym or nickname that is totally unrelated to anything about you. Don't even put your actual initials on your blog entries. Extend the same courtesy to friends and relatives you write about on your blog. Protect their privacy by coming up with nicknames totally unrelated to who they are and what they do. Again, get creative and make names up to protect them.

Place of Work

It is never a good idea to provide hints on where you work, especially if you have the habit of complaining about your boss, the people at work, or the company as a whole. This could get you terminated from your job should your boss, a jealous co-worker, or a disgruntled subordinate chance upon your blog.

Addresses/Phone numbers

A big NO. You're putting yourself at serious risk here. Posting your home address is tantamount to handing a criminal or a con man the keys to your home/condo/apartment. By posting either your cellphone or home phone number, you're providing those characters direct access to your person. If they're technically sophisticated or geeky enough, they may even be able to track your whereabouts.

To provide you with additional information, other safe blogging tips could be found on these sites: Blogging Mommies, Get Safe Online,and Electronic Frontier Foundation.

Again, posting photos and information about yourself on a public blog would only be necessary if you're in a profession that requires the maintenance of a high public profile. This applies to actors/actresses, musicians, athletes, fashion models, and politicians, to name a few.

In the interest of full disclosure, this is not a paid post. These are but words of caution that I want to share with everyone out there. A well-written blog will never find itself wanting of an audience. Like water seeking its own level, a blog will eventually land the audience it deserves based on the quality of its content.

A Thirst For Good News

Endless politicking, a democracy downgrade, a priest's murder, and now, airplanes that fail to meet minimum international safety standards. All bad news.

Unfortunately, they are typical daily fare for the Filipino newsreader. They are but a few examples of headlines that greet us when we open the papers first thing in the morning. We take them with us as we go through our day. They become the topics of conversation at home, at work, in schools, over drinks, over meals, in parties, etc.

How many times does the President have to be impeached? How often do we need to replace our Congressional leadership? How often do we need to rewrite our Constitution? How often do we need to debate on what system of government is right for us? Whose unfortunate turn is it to be our politicians' latest target of character assassination, a process they hide so well under the mantle of a Congressional sub-committee hearing?

When will the obsession with the superficial ("palabas") end and when will single-minded focus on tackling substantive issues begin? When will Congress finally have the sense of urgency to really act and pass not just laws but meaningful reforms?

The issues are all around us, too many to enumerate. Low quality of public school education, half-baked agrarian reforms, underpaid government employees, endemic political and bureaucratic corruption, government waste, high rates of unemployment and underemployment, unsolved politically motivated murders, electoral fraud and violence, tax evasion, a justice system susceptible to manipulation by the rich and powerful, a poorly equipped military. One could go on and on.

But we trudge along in the face of them all. We try to go on with our lives even when the results of failed governance are all around us. We try to move along even if our questions go unanswered, our pleas remain unheard, our taxes unwisely spent, and our rights get violated. We try.

But as a citizen, I also yearn for closure; closure on issues that have bedevilled my country for generations. I ask for neither a tax break nor a dole out. All I ask for is an environment that would offer me and my countrymen hope and opportunity. I long to see conditions improve to the point that families would no longer have to spend a good part of their lives hundreds or thousands of miles apart just to realize their dreams.

That would be the type of news I'd love to take with me.

The "F" and "Ep" Defects (among others)

This story took place in one of the provinces of Mindanao many summers ago. To protect the people involved, their names were changed. (Naks!) However, the actual subject of the story was not.

A multinational corporation that had significant agricultural operations in the area hired my former company to conduct an organization study. The purpose of the study was to streamline the company's organizational structure. The work would involve analyzing the organizational structure that was in place, comparing it against the company's strategic plans, and then recommending a streamlined organizational structure that would help the company attain its strategic goals. Another output the client expected from the project was for the project team to develop the appropriate job descriptions for all job positions under the proposed streamlined organization structure.

A close friend and former co-worker of mine, let's call him Boyet, was assigned to be part of that team. Though only a year out of college, Boyet had quite a bit of experience in organizational studies. For this project, Boyet's particular area of assignment was to develop job descriptions for the various job positions within the company's packaging and distribution processes. In order to develop appropriate and accurate job descriptions, his work required that he interview the incumbent(s) for each position in order to gain a proper understanding of the work and responsibilities for their level. Our company had developed its own methodology for this project and thus, there was a standard list of questions to ask of each incumbent.

So it was that one day, Boyet came to interview Mang Enteng, the head of the Packing Section within the Distribution Department. Mang Enteng was a man in his mid-forties who, at the time of the interview, had already worked for the company for more than 20 years.

Boyet walked into Mang Enteng's small office one afternoon and introduced himself. After a short exchange of pleasantries, they got down to business. The following is how parts of the interview went: (Author's Note: Any observed misspellings from this point forward reflect the way the words were actually pronounced, as per Boyet's memory.)

Boyet: Mr. Enteng, what is your official job title?
Mang Enteng: I am the Head of the Facking Section.

Boyet: Ok. (Notes the job title down while thinking to himself, "Man, this is going to be an interesting session.") Sir, what is your job position's objective?
Mang Enteng: It is to make sure that all our fruits and fruit froducts are froperly focked.

Boyet: What do you call the position title of the people who report directly to you?
Mang Enteng: Facker.

Boyet: Does your position require the operation of any machinery?
Mang Enteng: Yes, I have two fackers who run six fucking machines.

Boyet: (Trying to remain professional) Sir, is your packing process automated or manual?
Mang Enteng: We do some manual fucking too. I have some manual fackers who directly report to me.

Boyet: How many manual packers report to you?
Mang Enteng: I have 10 fackers; pive boys and pibe girls.

Boyet: On the average, how long have they been with the company?
Mang Enteng: They have been facking for 10 years.

Boyet, though real close to cracking up at this point, kept his composure and asked a few more technical questions which Mang Enteng answered to Boyet's satisfaction. Boyet was now ready to wrap up the session.

Boyet: Is there anything else I need to know about your job position or your people?
Mang Enteng: I am so froud of my stafp. They are all bery good fuckers.

With that, Boyet thanked Mang Enteng and took his leave. Upon exiting Mang Enteng's office, Boyet rushed to the nearest Men's Room where he finally cracked up.

To Be Rich And Lonely (The Sequel)

This is a rejoinder to the previous blog entry. You can find the New York Magazine article here. It's a rather long article but makes for quite interesting reading.

This issue is not unique to American kids. What may be considered unique is the sheer magnitude of wealth. However, they're certainly not alone in the problems they face. Growing up, our family had friends who were born into wealth who also experienced problems with self-worth, depression, and loneliness.

Good parenting is the only solution here. Kids need to be taught to value and respect money. They need to develop the discipline and self-control to live within their means. More importantly, they also need to develop a strong work ethic. Let's keep their minds busy and in a constant state of learning. A strong work ethic could be developed through a summer job or through the most mundane of responsibilities at home. Through work and responsibility, we strengthen a person's intelligence and character.

Money should never be the end. It is but simply one of the means to deepen one's happiness and relationships with true friends and family.

Money won't really buy us true happiness. However, having money helps us enjoy life and more importantly, it helps us express our love and care towards family, relatives, and friends. Paul McCartney once said, "I don't care much for money. I just want it to be there in case I need it." The key word in his statement is NEED.

I see nothing wrong with working very hard to make money in a lawful and honest way. I also see nothing wrong if a lot of money is accumulated in the process. However, it is important that we don't lose sight of things that are important to us. We always need to be mindful of how our decisions and actions with money affect the ones we love.

To Be Rich And Lonely

How do we know that we are loved by friends or relatives? As human beings, we know and feel that we are loved when people come to help us out in our time of need. We appreciate and never forget such moments. Most especially if friends or relatives came out from nowhere to extend moral support or volunteered their time and resources just to help us out. It could really be quite touching, to say the least.

These thoughts then bring me to the opposite of the above situation. Let's put ourselves in the shoes of a wealthy person.

Like every other person in this world, he/she also has needs. But here's the catch and the difference. If such a person doesn't have or never has a time of need because he/she buys what he/she needs, how is that person going to know who truly loves him/her?

Tough situation to be in when one really thinks about it, right? This post was inspired by an article on the New York Magazine that I came across yesterday while waiting for my turn at the barbershop. It spoke of rich kids' battles with depression and loneliness.

I'll leave it here for now because there's so much ground to cover. I promise to get back to this topic in a few days.

Sex Talk

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

A Piece of Heaven

It was a humid night in early September when feeling a bit restless, I decided to get dressed and venture out of the confines of the condo complex I was staying at in Makati. I was down to the last few days of a two-week stay in Manila. This was my first trip back to the motherland ever since I migrated to the US in the early 90s. The main purpose of my trip home was to see my father who was then recovering from surgery. However, since I’ve been away for quite a long time, I also decided that the trip would also be a great opportunity to meet up with long lost friends. And that’s exactly what I decided to embark on as soon as I landed in Manila.

Midway through my second week, I had pretty much met up with everyone that I needed to meet, from former high school and college classmates to former co-workers and relatives. I met with friends and/or relatives every single day. I met them for lunch, merienda, or dinner. My schedule literally was booked solid. However, inspite of that, there was one last thing I felt I needed to do before I fly home. I knew that my trip home would not be complete without having to go and seek THE PLACE out.

I knew the address but have never been to the place. I was familiar with the general area but never really explored many of the side streets that branched out from the main avenues and thoroughfares. I decided then that I’ve had enough of this superficial information. I had to see the place for myself; I needed to stand right before it. Armed with that desire, I hailed a cab and informed the driver of my destination.

I had picked a bad time to venture out for it was the height of the evening rush hour in Makati. It was bumper-to-bumper traffic on Makati Avenue and on a number of its arteries. But I was not going to be denied. I immediately initiated a discussion with the cab driver to plan and decide on alternative routes. I suggested that we sidestep the business district totally and head for our destination by way of J.P. Rizal Street in Makati and the Santa Ana district. The driver agreed.

J.P. Rizal Street runs through the business and residential districts of old Makati City. From Guadalupe Viejo and Guadalupe Nuevo in the southeast, the street heads in a northwesterly direction right past Makati City Hall, towards the old Santa Ana Racetrack, and right into Manila’s Santa Ana district. Old timers and long-time residents in the Makati and Santa Ana areas still call the street by its old name, Tejeron. J.P. Rizal Street then ends in Santa Ana where it links up with Pedro Gil Street (formerly known as Herran). From there, if one should head west, he/she would be taken to the Paco and Ermita districts. On the other hand, heading east, he/she would be taken to the Mandaluyong/San Juan area. Upon reaching the J.P. Rizal/Pedro Gil junction, I told the driver to head west.

It was that westerly direction that eventually took me to the place. As soon as I saw the street, I ordered the cab driver to stop at the street corner, paid my fare, and got off. I stood at the corner for a few moments. The scene in front of me was typical of many of Manila’s crowded areas and streets. There was a small town plaza where children ran and played clad in “sandos,” shorts, and rubber slippers, a number of women gossiped, and a number of people who were simply out to enjoy the evening air. There were quite a number of small sari-sari stores, each one with its share of bystanders whiling away the evening hours over a few beers and seemingly endless banter. There were a number of ambulant vendors selling quite a diverse selection of snacks. There was a small bakery too that reminded me of pastries I enjoyed as a kid growing up in a neighboring district. Houses, old and new, stood adjacent to each other on both sides of the street.

Armed with the address, I walked down that street. On the way, I passed by a Protestant chapel/center and several old apartment-style dwellings. There were a few ladies selling viands (“ulam”) kept in aluminum pots by the curb/sidewalk and close by, an Internet café was doing brisk business.

It was already quite dark by then. The darkness that had cloaked the city made it quite difficult for me to make out the numbers/addresses on a few of the homes. I ran into something I didn’t quite expect: the probability of not finding the place. I reached a point where judging from the address of the house in front of me, I knew that I had passed the place I was looking for. I turned around to retrace my steps, trying to figure out where my search went wrong. The address I was looking for had an even number, and the even-numbered homes were on my right. I saw a house numbered 160, a real dark alley next to it, and then a house numbered 148. The address I was looking for was in between those two addresses.

I suspected that the place I was looking for might be found within that dark alley. I stood by the entrance to the alley for a few minutes to observe. There seemed to be a few homes within but the darkness of the evening denied me the certainty I needed at that moment. I wanted to venture in, to try my luck. However, I was apprehensive that I might be trespassing into private property should I venture in. I reluctantly decided to end my search. I turned around, made my way back to the main road, and got on a cab back to Makati.

Though I regretted not finding the place, I feel no sadness. Though it was in an area that was crowded, noisy, and quite chaotic, I long to come back. It may take me a while but I won't mind because for me, that place is the nearest thing to heaven simply because she’s there.

Got My First Blog Award.....

..... and I'm passing it on to my online buddies Mari, Ipanema, Em Dy, Monaco, and Abby. It's ....

Witty, creative, and intelligent - these are the essential ingredients of good and powerful writing.

A special thanks to Liquid for this very special award. Here's how this award works:

“Distribute this award to those people who have blogs we love and can’t live without,
blogs where the writing is good and powerful.
I thought interested members could kick things off
by publishing the award on their own blog,
naming five people they would like to give it to,
and accompany the image with three things they believe
are necessary to make writing good and powerful.
The recipients then do the same,
passing it on to five other people,
and so on.”

The Start Of A Courtship

R's dear mom and brothers first heard about O when he spoke of her one night. He told his mom and brothers that there's this girl in the place he worked who seemed quite nice and had the prettiest eyes on a girl he's ever seen. From the way he spoke of her, R's mom immediately sensed that her dear son was quite serious about this particular girl.

O Guillermo, on the other hand, never paid much attention to R at work. She found him to be quite moody. She wasn't too fond of moody people, she said. She couldn't stand the inconsistencies the mood swings bring. Plus, as the office secretary, she had observed and noted that R always reported for work late. And tardiness was also a huge pet peeve of hers. Unbeknownst to her at the time. R was a Chess fanatic, one who often stayed up late at night, way past midnight, locked in seemingly endless duels on the chess board with an older brother.

So it came as a suprise to her when one evening, as she was about to retire for the night, her older sister A knocked on her room. A informed O that the family had a guest downstairs looking for her. O dutifully went downstairs to see who the guest was. That "guest" turned out to be R. He had come to see her, bearing what seemed to be a "gift" wrapped in a brown paper bag. Typical of the racial attitudes of that time, O's family eyed R suspiciously at first for they thought R was Chinese because of his eyes and his rather fair complexion.

Even though he was of Chinese heritage, R was absolutely clueless about that part of Panaderos family history. R was a Chinese mestizo, possessed strong Chinese features and in fact, was often mistaken for one. Anyway, back to the story....

After introducing R to A and to her younger sister B, O then introduced R to her father. After their introduction, O's father motioned for R to take a seat.

As soon as he sat down, R immediately felt the heat of O's father's look. The old man gave R that "head-to-toe" look while subjecting R to a barrage of questions as fathers are wont to do with a daughter's potential suitor. Though nervous at first, R conducted himself well enough during his rather short visit to leave a positive impression on O's father, O's sisters, and on O herself, thus assuring himself of at least one return visit.

The moment R left, the Guillermo family immediately got to talking about him. Though he was looked upon favorably by everyone, his Chinese features earned him a nickname among the Guillermos: "TikBoy", short for "Intsik Boy".

In all the ensuing talk, everyone had forgotten about the gift that R had left for O and her family. A sister had placed the brown bag on the family dining table and left it there. Now that R had left, O and her family members wondered what was in the bag.

Since the "gift" was for her, O proceeded to take it out of the bag. What they saw elicited quite a bit of laughter at the Guillermo family residence that night.

It was pancit canton, a Panaderos family favorite.

Today.....

By the time this post sees the light of day, the package would have been delivered and their expectations would have been fulfilled. You'll probably get quite a bit of ribbing from them and for good reason. But nothing they will do today is going to upset you.

Oh how I wish I could be there just to see the smile break out of your lovely face.

We'll talk later. :-)

A question that deserves an answer......

Possible blog reader question: When will you write about your town? It's in your blog's title. There must be some significance to it.

My reply: That's a very good question, esteemed Reader. (Naks!) Very soon, I promise. The memories are still there - clear, intact, and quite indestructible. They just need to be organized. Thank you.

:-)

A break from the cold? Not so fast.....

Flew into San Francisco earlier this evening. Though the purpose of the trip was business, I was also hoping to catch a much-needed break from the frigid temperatures back East. But as soon as I got here, what did I see? Overcast skies, rain, and it was COLD. Checked the weather forecast for the rest of the week and I found that the cold weather is going to linger in the area for a while. So much for my California trip. Sigh.

Oh well. As they say, we always think that the grass is always greener on the other coast, este, on the other side pala. :-)

Being the eternal optimist, the clouds had a silver lining. It's California. Maraming Pinoy. And a lot of Pinoys mean a lot of Pinoy restaurants. Hehehe Thus, I made up for the lousy weather and feeling by having dinner at Gerry's Grill over at Union City, a few miles from the hotel I'm staying at. Went for my fave lechon kawali and had garlic rice along with it. Needless to say, it was such a "heartfelt" dinner. For drinks, I had black gulaman.

Comfort food. :-) I feel much better now.

Can't sleep.....

In the wee small hours of the morning,
While the whole wide world is fast asleep,
You lie awake and think about the girl
And never, ever think of counting sheep.

When your lonely heart has learned its
lesson,
You'd be hers if only she would call:
In the wee small hours of the morning,
That's the time you miss her most of all.

* Thanks to Messrs. Sinatra, Mann, and Hilliard.

My tongue-in-cheek take on.....

"Metrosexual" - description applied to heterosexual men with a strong concern for their appearance, and who display many of the lifestyle tendencies of stereotypically gay men. (Source: Wikipedia.org)

My take: A Metrosexual is actually a flaming homo presenting himself as a trendy or flamboyant hetero.

Peace. :-)

Score 1 for Mr. Obama

Barack Obama made US political history last night by scoring an impressive victory at the Democratic primaries in Iowa, beating a field of candidates made up of well-known names such as former First Lady and current Senator Hillary Clinton (New York), former Senator John Edwards (South Carolina), long-time Senators Christopher Dodd (Connecticut) and Joseph Biden (Delaware). It was the first time in US history that a black man scored a victory in an election primary. What makes his victory all the more impressive was that it was achieved in a midwestern state where 95% of the population was white.

Obama's victory sends a clear signal that the American electorate clearly wants a change in the country's political environment. They are hungry for a candidate who can unify a country that has been politically polarized since the early 1990s. They want a change in the country's political direction and fresh ideas on US foreign policy, especially in the war on terror and the Iraqi occupation.

As a politician on the national stage, Mr. Obama cannot be considered as a very experienced one. He is on the third year of his first term as a US Senator from the state of Illinois. Up to this point, he has not authored any major bill that has been passed into law. Though a lawyer by profession, he does not have significant professional experience representing anybody before a court.

One thing I find quite remarkable with Mr. Obama is the fact that he rarely mentions his race in his campaign speeches. Unlike black candidates who went before him (Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton), Mr. Obama looks at problems of poverty, poor education, lack of medical care, unemployment, and other social ills as national problems and not as problems of just one particular race. In a time when everybody in the US seems to be a hyphenated American (Irish-American, African-American, Chinese-American, etc.), Mr. Obama appeals to a divided nation by presenting himself as simply an American.

His victory last night showed that the American people are willing to roll the dice on someone they think would present a fresh American face and fresh ideas to the world. In a state with a significant white majority, the people clearly showed that they were willing to look beyond one's race in the search for fresh ideas and more importantly, in their search for a unifying influence.

It is still quite early to tell if Mr. Obama would eventually capture the Democratic nomination for President. A lot of campaign primaries lie ahead. He has formidable opponents in Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Edwards, both armed with well-funded and sophisticated political machineries. Campaign primaries in the southern states would be especially tough for Mr. Obama given that racial attitudes, especially in the Deep South, have not changed much since the end of the American Civil War in 1865.

This is just my observation but I think at this point, Mr. Obama has captured the US public's imagination with his idealism and statesmanlike demeanor. Unlike a number of his political opponents, he has run a very positive campaign that has managed to stir clear of personal attacks and misleading political spin. In a number of ways, he has already changed the political game. It would be quite interesting to see how things pan out for him in the months ahead. Stay tuned.

I heard the news today, oh boy....

My apologies to Mr. Lennon for taking a bit of liberty with the opening line of "A Day In The Life". Anyway.....

It's about one lucky woman who's finally made the grade. The news she shared with me was nothing short of great. I know how long she's wanted a career opportunity like this to come along. Though there were frustrations along the way, some of which could have broken a lesser person, she still held her head high and braved all the challenges. Hats off to her for such strength and resolve.

Now, it does look like her wait may finally be over. "Wait" is probably not the appropriate word to use because she didn't just sit and wait for the opportunity to come. She worked hard, real hard, every single day to make something like it happen. She is now on the eve of some profound changes in her life. Depending on how she manages things hereon out, one thing is certain: her life will never be the same.

Godspeed!

Weather report....

It's quite cold today where I'm at. Weatherman said that the temperature will only reach a high of 30 degrees Fahrenheit (or -1 degree Celsius). This means then that for the duration of the day, our air temperature will never get past the freezing mark of 32 degrees F. 30 degrees, by itself, is still not that bad. One can still have quite a pleasant walk outside as long as one is appropriately dressed to deal with the cold.

However, here's where it becomes quite tricky: it's also quite windy outside at the moment. Thus, if one decides to go outdoors at this very minute, he/she may actually feel colder than the actual air temperature. Weather forecasters here in the US have a term for that condition, the "wind chill" factor. Wikipedia defines "wind chill" as the apparent temperature felt on exposed skin due to the combination of air temperature and wind speed.

If we factor in the wind chill, then the apparent temperature would then drop from 30 degrees F to 17 degrees F (or -8 degrees Celsius), quite a significant change. At such temperatures, people are normally advised to stay indoors as much as possible. They are also told to only venture outside of their home/office whenever it's necessary.

With such temperatures, one has to have at least three or four layers of clothing to be able to withstand the cold. Add to those a scarf, ear muffs, and a hat or cap to cover one's head with; and boots or some rather heavy pair of shoes designed to keep your feet warm in winter. Not fun at all.

I often dream of places like Boracay, Bohol, and Puerto Galera during this time of the year. I'd rather be in any of those places than here. I imagine myself reading a good book on the beach or going out for a swim. Oh geez, winter's not even a month old and here I am, already yearning for warmer weather. Oh well...

Long-distance love

While I'm far away from you, my baby,
Whisper a little prayer for me, my baby;
Because its hard for me, my baby,
And the darkest hour is just before dawn.

If there's one thing I want you to do
Especially for me
And it's something that everybody needs.

Each night before you go to bed, my baby,
Whisper a little prayer for me, my baby;
And tell all the stars above
"This is dedicated to the one I love."

- "Dedicated To The One I Love" (The Mamas & The Papas)

For you.

A Harvard Experiment

Harvard University shook the academic world a few weeks ago when it announced an expansion in its student aid program. (Refer to NY Times article here.) The expansion was an effort to further diversify its student base by reaching out to middle-class and upper-middle-class American families, specifically those with household incomes in the $120,000 to $180,000 range. The Harvard plan calls for charging these families an annual tuition equal to about 10% of their household income.

Annual tuition at Harvard runs at about $45,000, an amount affordable only to the wealthiest of Americans. With the above program, middle-class families in the income bracket mentioned would only have to pay from $12,000 to $18,000 a year, amounts that are quite competitive with a significant number of state/public universities.

For academically gifted students from middle-class families, Harvard's announcement should come as a very pleasant and welcome surprise. Long convinced by financial advisers and news reports that college tuition costs are rising at a rate higher than overall inflation, many of these students have totally avoided the Ivy League schools, deeming the latter quite unaffordable. This expanded student aid program would force these students to at least give Harvard and an Ivy League education a second look.

Though it's still quite early to tell, the effects of Harvard's move could be profound. Less than three weeks after Harvard's announcement, a number of prestigious private universities such as the University of Pennsylvania, Pomona, and Swathmore, to name a few, have followed Harvard's lead. In the marketplace of education, Harvard could take the lead in reining in the spiralling costs of a college education in the US.

Philippine universities, especially the exclusive ones, could take a page from Harvard's playbook. In the Philippine setting, it's the middle middle-class and lower middle-class that are struggling to gain access to quality college education. Exclusive schools currently offer and focus their scholarship programs to poor but deserving students. I have no problem and no argument against such programs. However, reviewing such programs with the aim of extending aid to deserving students from middle class Filipino families may be worth a try.

May Blog Na 'Ko!! Yey!!

To all who chance upon this blog, welcome to my own little nook in cyberspace. This blog will serve as my online sounding board. On its pages, I'll put down my thoughts and views on people, love, issues affecting the world around me, and life, in general. I am a person with varied interests and thus, expect a broad range of topics to be covered here.

Some of the views and thoughts I'll write could be deeply personal. Some, due to a limited understanding or knowledge of a particular subject matter/field, could be superficial and some could be quite vague. And there could be some views/thoughts you may even find funny or downright idiotic. :-)

Lastly, but certainly not the least, this blog is dedicated to the ones I love.