On Philippine Divorce

This entry focuses on the Divorce question in the Philippines. Divorce is one of those issues that the Philippines has not gotten around to implement due to a combination of strong Catholic traditions and strong Church influence on national affairs. In my own little way and through this little blog, I would just like to add my voice to the thousands (and hopefully millions) of Filipinos who are crying out for a smart and reasonable government policy on marital dissolution. I do not find it necessary to post the provisions of the 1987 Philippine Constitution that supposedly forbid the legalization of divorce. Google is readily available for that. However, what I am going to do is discuss my reasons and my stand as to why Divorce should be legalized in my dear country.

First of all, I find it lamentable that the principle of separation of Church and State is gradually being weakened in Philippine political life. Back in the day (both pre-martial law and martial law years) when the two-party system was in place, there was only one religious group that voted as a bloc, the Iglesia Ni Cristo (INC). Though politicians courted the INC's vote, their numbers, as a percentage of the Filipino population, were not big enough to significantly dictate or influence national policy.

Today, we have a multi-party system in place where no single political party commands a clear majority in Congress. As a result, the Filipino electorate has been spliced and diced so many times over to the point that these days, not only do we have an INC vote, but we also now have an urban poor vote, the left-wing vote, the Muslim vote, the military vote, and the Catholic vote, to cite a few examples. The Catholic vote has even been split further between the traditional Catholic and the El Shaddai factions. It is political niche marketing at its best, albeit with potentially disastrous repercussions.

The splintering of the political parties and the Filipino electorate had the unfortunate result of unduly increasing the influence of the Catholic Church on the country's political affairs. Thanks to the current President's lack of political spine, the Church has been allowed to infringe on government policy. I watch with alarm as the Church's influence on our lives has grown to the point that it now has an indirect say on what movies we can watch, how many children we can have, when and for what reasons are we allowed to have sex, and why the State should continue supporting a policy that would permanently trap couples into a loveless and, oftentimes miserable, marriage. In a lot of ways, it seems that the Spanish Friars are back in town except this time, their skin is brown.

Here is a plain and simple truth. Not all Filipinos belong to the Roman Catholic Church. Not all Filipino Roman Catholics hear Mass. And of those who do attend Mass regularly and actually listen to the homilies, I believe that it is safe to say that not all of them subscribe to the Church's views on birth control.

On a personal level, my parents consider themselves as devout Catholics. However, when it came to matters such as birth control and family planning, they parted ways with the Church. Being an outcome of an unsuccessful attempt at birth control, I asked them one time why this was so. Their response was that when it came to sex, they saw no reason to listen to the lectures and to be faithful to the rules being set by someone or a group who supposedly abstains from it. If they can't do the walk, why listen to them talk? Religion served as a spiritual guide, not a practical reference. I don't believe that their view is unique for I am pretty confident that millions of intelligent and responsible Filipino couples feel the same way.

I also do not share the view of some anti-divorce activists that legalizing divorce would encourage family breakups. I strongly disagree. Imposing a total ban on divorce is tantamount to a denial that family breakups occur. The current absence or lack of divorce/annulment statistics prevents our country from obtaining a clear and objective picture of the state of the Filipino family. Is it a wonder then that in the absence of such statistics/information, intelligent government policy and laws that would oversee the breakup of a family are pretty much non-existent in our country?

Yes, we do have marital annulments in our country. The Family Code allows a marriage to be annulled if it can be proved that one party was "psychologically incapacitated to comply with the essential marital obligations of marriage." In this case, what constituted "psychological incapacity" was based on Canon law. Examples of psychological incapacity included homosexuality; lesbianism; emotional immaturity or irresponsibility; criminality; satyriasis; habitual alcoholism; and epilepsy. (Can you believe that last one?)

However, the problem with the annulment process is that it is quite onerous to the average Filipino. It can be quite costly as it usually requires spending hundreds of thousands of pesos. However, spending that amount of money does not guarantee a successful conclusion. Other factors could also come into play and affect the outcome such as the attitude of the presiding judge. Does the judge have a conservative/liberal bent? Is the judge rabidly pro-family or one who realizes the realities of life and marriage?

The process could also drag on if the other half decides to contest the annulment. Appeals, if any, could also cost quite a bit of money and could drag on for years. As is the case with the original lawsuit, there is also no guarantee that an appeal would succeed. Thus, given the odds against them, a lot of couples in loveless marriages are then left with no recourse but to either live apart but stay married in name only or stay together and make their lives and those of their kids a "living hell".

What do we say to a battered wife who suffers daily at the hands of a physically and/or psychologically abusive husband? What do we say to a husband/wife who toils overseas but whose hard-earned earnings are being misspent by a cheating spouse? What do we say to a wife whose children are being sexually molested or emotionally abused by a husband? How many times have we heard of single mothers who work hard to support their children without any help from the husband? How many families do we know off where one spouse just ran off with another partner and left the family to fend for themselves? What do we say to the kids who are emotionally abused in a loveless household? What do we say to these victims? Do we just tell them, "Sorry guys, that's the hand fate dealt you. Deal with it."?

We do not have to agree with Divorce to support its legalization. I strongly disagree with people who equate advocating the legalization of divorce to a disrespect for the sanctity of marriage. That's a very narrow and simplistic view in my humble opinion. Offering divorce as a legal option is an acceptance of a social reality. Not all marriages work. People, being human, commit mistakes everyday. And sometimes, mistakes are made in choosing a partner for life. For those people who are in failing marriages, the laws should provide one or both of the people involved a way out; an option to start over.

Divorce does break up a family. There's no debate about that. However, it is not and should not be viewed as the cause of a marital breakup. The Divorce process gives people an option to start over; the chance at a new and hopefully, better life. The process is not and should not be limited to marital dissolution. Though Divorce puts an end to a marriage, it does not let one spouse off the hook, so to speak. There are consequences to a divorce due to the fact that the divorce process also decides on areas such as child custody, spousal support or alimony, child support, child visits, and a fair and equitable redistribution of a couple's assets. I strongly believe that this process is a much better and humane alternative for it protects a family's well-being. That alone makes it a much better option than breaking up a family through abandonment.

The absence of a reasonable Divorce law/process is another one of those signs that we live in an unjust society. Its continued absence denies people one of their basic rights: the right to be happy. We can't call ourselves a genuine and respectable democracy if we continue to stigmatize and ignore the plight of certain sectors of our society through the absence or lack of a coherent national policy. We are all Filipinos and all laws should equally apply to all of us. No law should favor one sect over another.

From an economic standpoint, a happy person is a very productive person. If our society is to move forward economically, we need to do so with all engines running. So please, let us have a sober and mature discussion about Divorce and come up with a way to finally implement it.